Stuckness
You don’t need a technical definition of what stuckness is, we all intuitively know what it feels like to be stuck in jobs we don’t enjoy, unhelpful relationships, addictions and lives we don’t want. When we are stuck our actions have no tractions and we feel lost, isolated, and in pain. We become exhausted, and we don’t know how to change things.
Although getting stuck in life can be painful, it can be a source of joy and renewal if we know how to get stuck well. Stuckness is a time when we are forced to turn inwards to reconfigure and renew our inner worlds. We do this by reconnecting to and broadening our selves, building engaged relationships with others, and thinking through the meaning and purpose of our lives.
While we do this we work with our own pain, anger, shame and grief so that we are ready to build a more alive and relevant inner world.
When our emergent inner worlds are strong enough, we can reconnect to our contexts, and learn to dance with the outer world.
When we do this, things become easy and we feel alive, competent, and grateful. This is a time of fluidity and growth and ease. Sadly, we don’t stay here because sooner or later we get stuck again.
Everyone gets stuck, it’s how we learn, heal, and grow. The Cycle of Stuckness (CoS) provides a map to understand our own stuckness and support ourselves to become more fluid. As coaches and therapists, we can use the CoS to support our clients in their growth.
For more information on stuckness click on the links below, and for a more in-depth look of how you can work with stuckness, have a look at my book “The Art and Joy of Stuckness for Coaches and their Clients”.